


Decisions, Decisions...

by amerasu1013 (amerasu_1013)



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Crack, Dialogue-Only, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-01
Updated: 2011-05-01
Packaged: 2017-10-18 21:05:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/193278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amerasu_1013/pseuds/amerasu1013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A difficult decision for Kirk and Bones: who gets to top tonight? And what does Spock have to say about that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Decisions, Decisions...

Kirk: “I bottomed last time!”

Bones: “I bottomed the three times before that, it’s your turn!”

Spock: “Captain. Doctor.”

Kirk: “Hi Spock. But I wanna fuck you tonight! I’ve been looking forward to this all day!”

Bones: “Hey Spock. Forget it, Jim! It’s your turn and you know it!”

Spock: *sips tea*

Kirk: “It’s not! I am the Captain, I should be on top!”

Bones: “I’m older, I should be!”

Spock: *sips tea*

Kirk: “C’mon Bones, pleeease?”

Bones: “Don’t you try your puppy dog eyes on me, it won’t work! I’m a doctor, dammit, not some easily impressed alien dignitary with a negligent husband who rolls over at the _mere sight_ of Jim Kirk…”

Spock: *sips tea*

Kirk: “Bones, you suck!”

Bones: “No, you’ll suck, sweetheart, you’ll suck me nice and hard later!”

Spock: *sips tea*

Kirk: “That’s so unfair! I wanna be on top tonight!”

Bones: “Fat chance, Jimmy boy, it’s your turn and you know it!”

Spock: *sips tea*

Kirk: “But I don’t wanna bottom, Bones!”

Bones: “Well, me neither and you owe me!”

Spock: *sips tea*

Kirk: *pout*

Bones: *glare*

Spock: *sips tea*

Kirk: “Spock! Help a guy out here, wouldya? Tell Bones I’m the captain and so Bones should bend over for me!”

Bones: “Spock, tell the _Captain_ that he owes me two more times of ‘bending over’!”

Spock: “I will do no such thing. In fact, Captain, Doctor, both of you should realize that you will ‘bend over’ for me.”

Kirk: “Huh?”

Bones: “What?”

Spock: “Indeed.”

Kirk: “No way!”

Bones: “What he said!”

Spock: “Yes ‘way’. Both of you will submit to me. Especially when I show you my… equipment, so to speak.”

*sound of a zipper*

Kirk: “Oh my God… Where have you been hiding _that_ , Commander? It’s huge!”

Bones: “Jesus. You’re a tripod, Spock.”

Spock: “I am not. It is of average size for a Vulcan.”

Kirk: *starts hyperventilating*

Bones: “No way! Forget it, you well-endowed Vulcan bastard, no way! Dammit, I’m a doctor, not a… a…”

Spock: *raises eyebrow*

Kirk: *licks lips*

Bones: “Dammit Jim, stop looking so intrigued! And Spock, put that… monster away before you hurt someone! You’re not gonna put that thing anywhere near my ass!”

Spock: “Are you certain, dear Doctor? Not even if I do… this?”

Kirk: “Oh my God, Spock, oh my God! Tentacles?!”

Bones: *stares*

Spock: “Indeed, Captain. Tentacles.”

Kirk: “They are all wriggly and flexible and stuff. How… how many are there?"

Bones: *stares*

Spock: “You will have to count them. Captain.”

Kirk: *anticipatory grin*

Bones: *stares* “How does that even work?”

Spock: “They either form a single shaft, like so… or they can separate, like so… you will notice that I am able to control them individually, move them independently, let them touch different places at the same time.”

Kirk: “No shit. Can’t wait to try them all out. Right, Bones?!”

Bones: “I…”

Spock: “Additionally, dear Doctor, if I move them like this… I am able to penetrate more than one entrance. Say… dominate you and the Captain at the same time?”

Kirk: “Hell yes!”

Bones: *moans*

Spock: *sips tea*

  
THE END


End file.
